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In this day and age, more people are increasingly aware that abuse doesn’t just come in the physical form. It also comes in the form of emotions like shame, control, and criticisms. Jean Chen XM, a psychotherapist at Relationship Matters, shares with us a checklist of signs to guide you in identifying an emotionally abusive partner.
Here’s it.
Using a harsh or authoritative tone, an emotionally abusive partner may treat you like a child instead of a partner.
Such people also make it difficult for you to keep in touch with your loved ones such as family members and friends.
They criticize you in front of other people or reprimand you loudly in a deliberate attempt for others to hear. Such partners may also intentionally drop something on the floor for you to pick it up.
Image Credits: The List
An emotionally abusive partner does not consider your feelings most of the time. They often give a reason as to why they’re right and you’re wrong. Surprisingly, you may fall for their ‘logical’ explanation.
If you find your partner giving you the cold shoulder more often than not, this could be a warning sign. This form of emotional disengagement results in emotional hurt and isolation which isn’t healthy for a long-term relationship.
They are capable of blaming you when things go wrong. Over time, you may not feel comfortable sharing your fears and needs. You are also not given the right to be angry and continuously labelled by them as selfish, demanding, paranoid, or unreasonable.
They have the ability to make you feel unaccepted in a group setting. Instead of sharing your positive attributes, they focus on the negatives and paint you in a bad light in front of their friends. Thus, making them seem like the only good person in the relationship.
Image Credits: Freepik
Words have meaning and can be impactful. If your partner is constantly using hurtful words like ‘stupid’ and ‘useless’, this could be a sign of emotional abuse. Adding on to that, they often make you feel unimportant with their sarcastic comments. Emotional abusers often disguise an insult as a joke to leave you feeling small.
If you suspect yourself going through emotional abuse and in the search for free and affordable mental help in Singapore, please click through the link to see the list of avenues you can tap on.
Talk to someone professional and stay strong! There’s always light at the end of the tunnel.
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As we age, are you realizing an increasing intolerance for dairy products like milk, cheese, and ice cream? You’re not alone. According to the US National Institutes of Health, over 90 per cent of East Asians experience lactose intolerance.
After a cup of our favourite bubble milk tea, one might feel bloated, gassy, nauseous, diarrhoeal, pain in the abdomen, and/or even rumblings from the abdomen.
Here’s why.
Image Credits: Portugal Resident
When we get older, our digestive system starts to produce less lactase. In fact, many Asians lack lactase to begin with. Lactase is an enzyme present in the small intestine which helps us to break down lactose into simple sugars.
The reason why you’re going through symptoms of lactose intolerance is because of the undigested lactose. The substance passes through our intestines and gets fermented by the gut bacteria.
Dr Alex Soh, a consultant with National University Hospital’s Division of Gastroenterology and Hepatology, said, “These symptoms often occur about 30 minutes to a few hours after consuming the lactose-containing food or beverage.”
“Its severity depends on how much lactose is consumed – higher amounts of lactose could result in more symptoms.”
Lactose intolerance is not to be confused with irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), a functional gastrointestinal disorder. Though we can’t rule out the fact that peeps with IBS may not react well to lactose.
Image Credits: Freepik
Based on a study by Purdue University’s School of Consumer and Family Sciences, restoring your digestive system to accept dairy products again may be possible. To do so, one has to consume a controlled amount of dairy foods.
Professor Dennis Savaiano, the school’s dean, said, “If you only consume dairy products once in a while, you are more likely to have symptoms from them.”
“Also, if you consume them by themselves, as opposed to as part of a meal, they tend to be transported throughout the intestine more rapidly and are more likely to cause symptoms.”
The main idea is to start in small quantities and increase by the week. “By altering the diet over time, bacteria more effectively digest lactose, making milk very well tolerated.”
Image Credits: Savory Experiments
Being aware of products with lactose is also key to a controlled diet. Lactose is not just found in cheese and yoghurt. It may also be present in foods such as salad dressings, biscuits, cakes, cereals, and pancake mixes.
Processed foods may also contain lactose. For your next grocery trip, you might want to pay special notice to these ingredients on the packaging:
Dr Soh also points our attention to lactose powder, a common food additive found in some foods and condiments.
According to MedicineNet, lactose may even be present in over-the-counter medicines like some tablets for stomach acid and gas. The good news? It’s usually in small amounts and will most likely only affect those with severe lactose intolerance.
As we come to a close, Dr Soh highlighted that people with lactose intolerance are often able to tolerate up to 12g of lactose without symptoms. To increase your tolerance threshold, consume lactose with food.
You may also try supplementing with a lactase enzyme to improve lactose digestion and symptoms. And of course, please consult a doctor before popping any pills.
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